"Hey" is the most common opener on every dating app and the easiest one to fumble. There is no question in it, no reference to your profile, nothing to react to. So most people answer with "hey" back and watch the thread go quiet, or they overcorrect with three paragraphs and never hear anything again.
The fix is small. Answer the person, then hand them one specific thing to answer. A line of warmth plus a narrow question does almost all of the work, and it takes about as long to type as the lazy version.
A one word opener is usually laziness rather than rudeness
People send "hey" for boring reasons. They have one hand free on a bus, they matched with eleven other profiles this morning, or they wrote something clever last week and got silence back for it. Reading it as disrespect is usually wrong, and it starts you off annoyed, which shows up in whatever you type next.
Treat it as a blank page. Whoever puts the first real content into the thread picks the topic, and that is a small advantage worth taking.
The shape of a reply that gets answered
Three parts, one or two sentences. Acknowledge them, so it reads like a person answered. Add one piece of content: an observation from their profile, or a small opinion of your own. Then ask something narrow enough to answer in one line while they are standing in a queue.
Narrow is the part people miss. "So what are you into?" is an essay prompt. "Which of the two dogs in your photos is the problem child?" is four words back, and a whole story if they feel like telling it.
Six replies you can adapt
Hey Maya. Your Lisbon photos stopped my thumb. Was that the trip where you tried to learn to surf, or a different one?
Why it works
It proves you opened the profile past the first picture, and the question has a story built into it. Answering with one word is almost impossible here.
Hey. Your profile is giving me nothing, so I'll guess instead: are you a plan the whole weekend person or a decide at noon person?
Why it works
With no material to reference, ask about temperament. It is light, it costs one line to answer, and the answer tells you something real about how they spend time.
Hey back. Rate your week out of ten, then tell me what cost you the missing points.
Why it works
A number is easy to send while distracted, and the second half turns it into a conversation. Lowering the cost of the first reply is most of the trick.
Hi Sam. Two climbing photos and a dog, so your weekends look busy. Which of them gets you out of bed earlier?
Why it works
A joke built from their own material lands better than a general one, and the question is small enough to answer with three words.
Hey. App conversations are my weak point, so: coffee on Saturday afternoon, or shall we talk here first?
Why it works
It is direct and it still leaves an easy door open. Offering the second option is what keeps it from reading as pressure.
Morning. Your hey survived the night, so it has earned a real answer: what is the best thing you ate this week?
Why it works
Naming the gap removes the awkwardness of a slow reply, and food is a low stakes topic that almost everyone has an answer ready for.
What to skip
- Sending "hey" back and waiting. Now you are both holding nothing, and the thread has a shelf life of about a day.
- The comment about their effort. "Is that the best you can do?" reads as a test, and people who feel tested either perform or leave.
- Appearance as the whole reply. "You are gorgeous" is pleasant to receive and impossible to answer with anything except thanks.
- Three messages in a row. One and then stop. Stacking messages changes how the conversation reads before it has started.
If the second reply is also one word
Two tries is a fair test. If your specific question comes back as "lol yeah", the other person is browsing rather than talking, and no phrasing on your side fixes that.
Let it sit. If you want to close it cleanly, "Feels like the timing is off, take care" is enough. No speech, no last attempt at being memorable, and you keep the option of a friendly answer if they resurface in a month.